Somone suggested a topic for OFF topic thoughts... a sort of user lounge.
Not sure if this will do but....

Ok, I'm getting over a nasty cold so I took a nap today and dreamed that the PAS came in white and could be set up to look like the USS Enterprise...
Picture it...
see?

Was anybody here at the NAMM show ?

http://www.sonicstate.com/news/wnamm05.cfm

This site ( above ) is the best I've found for new products featured this year. Lots of short vids to d'load . Some impressive new music toys.

I was. Did you see the two L1's with double B1's at the Steinberg demo?

I SAID, DID YOU SEE...

Oh, sorry. Still recovering from the show.

quote:

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Originally posted by FocusPlayer:
Somone suggested a topic for OFF topic thoughts... a sort of user lounge.
Not sure if this will do but....

Ok, I'm getting over a nasty cold so I took a nap today and dreamed that the PAS came in white and could be set up to look like the USS Enterprise...
Picture it...
see?

---

'Hope you get over that crud soon! Considering Alan is still "recovering from NAMM, maybe this is the "sick bay" thread? LOL...

I enjoyed the NAMM link - not so sure about some products though -

Ah, the guitar sock. Careful, they may be the company that takes the Bose-sock idea and runs with it. <G>

I think Product Placement is KEY in getting the word out...

I hear they are re-making the movie KING KONG.
When the action figure comes out(hopefuly with the fem lead in it's mit) , I'm hanging the mighty ape from my PAS

While we're on "humor", here's a really great joke:

A guitar player walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and says to the bartender "gimme a beer, and one for (gesturing to the parrot) him". The bartender says "...

Ah, this is so embarrassing. I forget the rest. Does anyone know this one?

Can't remember the punchline either. Here's one:

An F, an Ab and a C walk into a bar and ask to be served. The bartender says I'm sorry, we don't serve minors. So the Ab left, and the other 2 shared a fifth. (badabump!)

Pro: What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin ?
Who cares - neither one's a guitar



Con: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.

Truth:"What did you do on Earth?"
"I was a surgeon. I helped the lame to walk."
"Well, go right on in through the Pearly Gates"

"What did you do on Earth?"
"I was a school teacher. I taught the blind to see."
"Fine .. go right on in through the Pearly Gates!"

"What did you do on Earth?"
"I was a musician. I helped make sad people happy."
"You can load in through the kitchen."

Uh oh.

(Master, I have released the Hounds ...)

I've heard the parrot joke too but no luck with the punch line either. Geez, old age sucks!

Oh well, here's some standards -

Three guitarists collaborated on a book of scales. Each contributed the one he knew.

If you took all the Electric Guitar Players in the world and laid them end-to-end, it would be a heck of a good idea.


Q - What do you call a "Clean Shot"?

A - When you can throw an electric guitar into the toilet without hitting the seat.


Q - What's the difference between a guitar player and a certificate of deposit?

A - The certificate of deposit will eventually mature and make money.


* A fingerstyle guitarist is walking on the beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle. The cork falls off and out pops a genie. "Thank you Oh Master for releasing me from my prison of the last 300 years" the genie exclaims, profusely grateful to the fingerstyle guitarist. "And because of your kindness" the genie continues, "I will grant you 3 wishes". "But I must caution you" alerts the genie. "And what's that?" asks the fingerstyle guitarist.

"Well, you can wish for anything you desire, but whatever you ask for, every electric guitarist fingerstyle guitarist in the world will receive double" explains the genie. "Not a problem" says the fingerstyle guitarist. "Very well then, what shall your first wish be, my Master" "$10 million in small bills" says the fingerstyle guitarist unhesitatingly. "Good choice, Master" and poof!! right there on the beach are piles and piles of $10s and $20s. And of course every fingerstyle guitarist in the world now has $20 million in their account.

"And your next wish, Master?" "A brand new Taylor PS12C Presentation Series Guitar and presto! right there on the beach is the most beautifully inlaid and superb sounding acoustic guitar he'd ever seen. And of course every fingerstyle guitarist now has 2 of these guitar's in their living rooms; knowing of course that they aren't going to know what to do with one, much less two.

"You've made excellent choices thus far, Master; what is your final wish?" The fingerstyle guitarist thinks for a minute, rubs his chin a moment, squints at the bright sky and says, "You know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney" ...


Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune? Neither have I.


How many musician jokes are there? Just one - all the rest are true.

I heard the last wish was " ok, now beat me half-to-death "

I'm sitting here with concreet dust in my hair a( and teeth and eyes) in ripped shirt and jeans because I just helped run another new 32 chan snake in our church. 225' long... under the stage, up the back of the baptismal, thru the cieling and down to the soundboard.

I had to use a hand sledge and chisel to open holes thru block. In the crawl space this was a VERY low fun factor.

Have I mentioned that I tried to get them to get two PAS systems rather than run more stuff back and forth ????

Sorry, I can't resist....


Q: What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?


A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline?


Q: How do you tell a drummer is at your front door?

A: The knock speeds up....slows down...then speeds up

Recently, the legendary James Brown was auditioning for a guitar player. One of the candidates plugged in and played a short piece that sounded great.

James Brown looks up and asks: "Can you play an E6 chord?" The guitar player smiles and proudly exclaims: "Yes!"

James Brown then asks: "Yeah, but can you play it for 6 hours?"

True:
Back in the late 70s , Martin Mulle ( former roomate of Steve Martin) was performing at the Grand Ole Oprey .. no , really... anyway,
He took a break and turned to the band and said, " Now I'd like to play something that's never been heard here in the opery, ... A major seventh chord."

Ok ok, the difference between a volin and a viola? The viola burns longer.

Come on guys! Don't leave us horn players out!

Q: What is the diffference between a dead trombone player lying in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?

A: The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.


In an emergency a jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra. Everything went fine through the first movement, when she had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement she started going improvising madly when she wasn't supposed to play at all.

After the concert the conductor came round looking for an explanation. She said, "I looked in the score and it said `tacit'--so I took it!"


Ok, and I'll take one for the team:

Q: What's the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?

A: The exhaust.

At a recent music festival, a sad announcement was made. “Folks, we've just been told that someone left their banjo clearly visible in the back seat of their car overnight. Well, the car was broken into. The owner reports that now there are three more banjos in there!”

A couple goes to see a marriage counselor. They say their marriage is on the rocks because they never speak to each other. The counselor tries to get them to talk, but they just sit there with their arms folded and their mouths closed. He tries playing games. He tries tricking them. Nothing he can do can get them to talk to each other. Finally, he pulls out an electric bass and starts playing a solo. Instantly, the couple turns to each other and starts conversing for the
first time in months.
’How on earth did you know that would work?’ they ask.
’Simple’ he says, ‘Everyone always talks during the bass solo