I've got four more answers to Dean's last question.
A1. The grip
A2. Vibrato
A3. You can tune a chain saw
A4. You might get a paying gig with a chain saw.

Little Bobby's bass teacher is worried. It's Bobby's second bass guitar lesson and Bobby's not there. He waits until quarter past the hour and decides to call Bobby's house.

Bobby's mom answers and the teacher says, "Hi, this is Bobby's bass teacher. Bobby still hasn't shown up for his second lesson and I'm wondering where he might be tonight." Bobby's mom replied, "Oh, he's got at a gig."

What 5 words will never be spoken to a Banjo player?


--
Could you move your Porche?

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know." A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!" The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative. Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!" The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?" "I'm a musician." The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"

Okay, so stop me if you've heard this one.. A guy goes to a house party. The host greets him at the door and informs him that just for kicks he has split the party into four seperate rooms which are organized in order of intelligence level. The first door is the smartest room, and the IQ levels drop as you go down the hall until you get to the last door.

The guy walks down the hall, opens the first door, and sees Hilmar and Cliff and a bunch of their buddies discussing quantum physics. "Too much for me" he mutters and wanders down the hall to the next door. Peeking in he sees a group of people milling around and overhears a discussion on brain surgery techniques. "Still over my head" he thinks and moves on to the third door. Looking inside, he sees a bunch of shirtless guys drinking beer and watching Jerry Springer re-runs. Intrigued, he can't help but wonder what lies behind the last door. Quietly walking to the final door, he cracks it open he sees 2 guys sitting in chairs just looking at each other for a long time. Finally one guy speaks "so...uh....what weight sticks do you use?"

(sorry Pete drumr, someome had to do it)

Just to level the field:

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

Seventeen - One to change it and sixteen to stand around with their arms folded saying "I could do it better"

Sorry.... I had a few more...

Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?

A: homeless


Q: What's the difference between a Lead Guitarist and a kidnapper ?

A: You can negotiate with a kidnapper.



Q: What does it mean when a drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth ?

A: The stage is level.



Q: How many Guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Five. One to change it and four to discuss how Eric Clapton would have done it.

And in the odds & Ends dept.

Some links to some VERY interesting guitars.

http://www.abyssguitars.com/


www.starrlabs.com



http://www.edromanguitars.com/avail/guitar/availfr.htm[/URL]

http://www.garageguitars.com/gateway.html

http://www.minarikguitars.com/acoustics/index.html

New guitar players board open...I'm over their trying to get them all to go buy a PAS <G>

www.GuitaristWorks.com

and the Breedlove web site is open again

www.breedloveguitars.com

Since this is all about cutting edge technology, check this out:

http://www.radmonkeycowbells.com/

I can't wait to see what kind of preset Cliff comes up for this!

Ha! TOO FUNNY!

I will enjoy spreading this one around!

Jan

My favorite is the Edinburgh Lt! Although I wish I had duct tape controls on the Butterscotch Quail as well!

Dean, that just made my day. Where's the dude on this board with the "more cowbell" avatar??? He needs to get in on this.

And don't DARE Cliff, 'cause he will...

No words can describe the genius of that sight!

I love how it looks like the Line6 site <g>

Did you all try the demos and dealer locator maps ??? a major hoot.

It's a great demo for site design.

I sent the page to our church drummer.

Our drummer wants two so he can play in stereo!

okay okay..im probably late in this game but here goes.

how many bass players dose it take to change a light bulb?"

5) one to change the lightbulb and four to keep the guitarist from hogging all the light.

dangit i forgot my others.

Oh man, I gotta get in on this:

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
1.None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
2.Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
3.One, but the guitarist has to show him first.

Peace Out,
Jeff

My $0.02 worth this Saturday morning (after a late gig).

Q: How big is your band?
A: We have four musicians and a drummer.

Hear about the guitarist that locked his keys in the car? Took him 2 hours to get out.


Ken

Question (pick one):

1. Why does the guitarist carry a banjo?
2. Why does the pianist carry an accordion
3. Why does the violinist carry a viola?

Answer:

To be able to park in the handicapped space.

Thank you, I'll be here all week...

My nomination for the Spewing Beverage Award

in the thread
Love my PAS, hate my power cord...

Chuck Lawhorn wrote:

"Tube or not tube, is that the question?"



Honourable mention goes to Ty-at-Bose, Jeff (of the unmentionalbles) and Ken Bausano and Alan Steinberger for helping to keep the joy alive.