Hey now............

Hey Tom
I didn't notice this one in your collection
How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, He holds it to the socket and the whole world revolves around him.

starvin,

Good one!

There were several variations of that one - just different than the way you told it.

It is always difficult to bring sad news, but I thought that you should know.....there was a great loss in the entertainment world yesterday. The man who wrote the "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really horrible was they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They put his left leg in....... and well you know the rest.

What if doing the Hokey Pokey is what it is really all about?

O.K. Jimmy

What do you call 10 guys in a drum circle?
A dope ring.

I promise this is the last one.

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringers job. The bishop was incredulous.
"You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side.

When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.

As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"

"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist (now there's a trivia question for you), the bishop continued his interviews for the bellringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, "Your excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked, "Who is this man?"

"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

NO-o-o-o-o-o, don't let this be the last. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.

Okay, Cliff...but you asked for it.

Stories and test questions accumulated by music teachers in Missouri (there are jokes here for me as a former STL resident, but I'll forgo them for now):

Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music

Refrain means "don't do it". A refain in music is the part you better not try to sing.

A virtuoso musician is a musician with real high morals

Johann Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the Present

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.

Aaron Copland is one of your most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.

An opera is a song of bigly size.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

I know what a sextet is, but I'd rather not say.

Probably the most famous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and McCoys.

My favorite composer is Opus.

A tuba is much larger than it's name.

When electric currents go through them, guitars make sound. So would anybody.

Last month I found out how a clarinet works by taking it apart. I both found out AND got it trouble.

I can't reach the brakes on this piano.

Anone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to be the conductor.

The most dangerous part about playing the cymbals is near the nose.

Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound, once the animal is removed.

I found some more in my list of jokes.

Driving home from church one Sunday, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station.

"How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts." Knowing he preferred rock 'n' roll, the dad asked, "Well, what's your music about?"

"That's the beauty of it," the son said. "You just don't know!"

quote:

Originally posted by BigKyle-at-Bose:
...Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound, once the animal is removed.

Yeah, I can just imagine the unpleasant sounds involved if the animal is not removed first.

Brings to mind what a "Far-Side" cartoon of this might entail...

And another.

A drummer, tired from being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion." The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".

Is it just me and the Canadian Club Old Fashioned, or were live performances at the 2007 Grammys the best ever?
I sure thought so.

The Police were fantastic, I thought, how can it get better than this? But it certainly did.
My favorites were the above, John Mayer, The Dixie Chicks, Mary J Blige, Kanye West, and most surprising of all...Christina Aguilera, who followed Kanye, and I thought, how can she top this. She just blew my mind.

Outside of one or two songs that were just so-so (translated...I am tired of them [James Blunt]), the only complaint I have is that I couldn't understand the words to a lot of the "louder" band songs. Like Justin Timberlake, who said "this new song is very personal and a favorite" of his. Then I couldn't understand a single word. Oh well.

I just saw the picture of the piano Alan posted. I've seen one like that, but I couldn't get any sound out of it. You're supposed to press that key at the bottom, right?

My band opened for Alasdair Fraser and Natalie Haas last month, and he stated, "Almost every civilization has made music by dragging the tail end of a horse over the intestines of a cat, and that's just what we're going to do tonight."

Hey Drumr: I don't usually like awards programs, but I did watch the Grammys last night and thought it was great. For a live show almost 2 1/2 hrs long and very complex, it was pretty slick. To be honest, I didn't know who Christina Aguilera was until last night. I do now! Yes, she is beautiful, but I would have enjoyed her performance even with the video off.

Did you catch Prince's commercial thanking the audience of his Super Bowl show?

I also thought the audio in general was pretty bad, but I guess we should be used to that from television.
They should have used Bose
Respect

Yah, the Grammys were pretty good. The only one I didn't care for was Carrie Underwood. I don't go for the American Idol stuff though. I wish I would have seen the Prince ad. I'm off to YouTube to find it.

[edited for typos]

quote:

Originally posted by BigKyle-at-Bose:
Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

Too funny so wrong, Too often so true.

O

Hey Kyle
What was the hardest thing to determine in the vinyl era?
Whether a Brian Eno LP was warped or whether a Philip Glass LP was skipping.